Fill Your Cup

It’s all too easy to wake up, my feet hitting the floor, scroll through notifications on my phone, respond to messages and herein begins the monkey brain of reactivity, putting out fires and my life living me, instead of me living my life.  From here, my day is a day of reaction instead of intention.  Old patterns come back all too easily and I am in a state of reeling, feeling as though I am short-changing myself, because I am not listening to my inner voice and not feeding my soul what it needs.  It’s as though I wake up with a candle burning inside of me and if I choose not to pay attention to it, it ultimately dies out.  My life played out this way is similar to a pinball.  I am not directing it, but I am allowing outside forces to determine what’s important and worthy of my attention.  And this, my friends, is a waste of a life in my mind.  To let the outside world dictate what I focus on and what I strive towards is a life empty of depth and self expression.

All too often, we go about life, operating from an empty cup, wondering why our heart doesn’t seem as full and alive or why our passion for life is next to nothing.  Pay attention to your inner voice, for this is the voice that sets you apart and will help you fulfill your dreams and enjoy your life to the fullest.  Honor that voice, feed that voice, and love that voice, for that voice is your life line.

After spending a large portion of my life depleted and similar to a pinball, I have found that filling my own cup is a necessity.  My self-care and time of re-centering happens early in the morning before my family wakes up.  It is here that I do my daily devotional, journal and meditate.  These three things ground me and feed that candle to burn brightly the whole day through.

From this place of being replenished I am able to be in tune with myself throughout my day.   If I have my time of re-centering, it comes natural to me to be aware if my reserves are feeling depleted.  However, I am not always able to make the realization ahead of time that I am in need of some self care. One of the red flags is if I find myself getting irritable with my son or husband, or feeling overwhelmed, then I know I need to fill my cup more than I have been.  Usually, what I need most during those moments is time with a girlfriend, whether it be on the phone or in person, or a little downtime at the coffee shop, journaling and reading.

In one of my favorite books, The Mastery of Love, by Miguel Ruiz, he talks about making sure your cup is full.  He uses the analogy of having a magical kitchen.  If your kitchen is complete you will be able to share food with everyone you meet and not need anyone’s food.  However, if your kitchen is lacking food/spices, you will do whatever it takes to get the food that you don’t have in your own kitchen.   He likens this to love.  In my own experience, if I am not filling my own cup and re-centering myself each day, I look outside of me for what I am missing.  It leaves me looking for external validation, approval and love.  Because this can never be met by another individual other than myself, I’m left feeling empty, let down and in a victim position.  Which in turn makes me want to avoid these feelings on a deeper level and old patterns tend to resurface if I am not conscious and intentional.  Old patterns of wanting to escape this feeling  of “depleted/low”  lead me to busyness, perfectionism and more peanut butter than any one human being needs.  Ultimately,  none of these numbing tactics fill the hole that can only be filled with self-care and self-love and I end up feeling even more empty on the other side.

Filling my cup and getting my “me time” is one small piece of my day, but truly the most important piece that sets me up to be the best version of myself.  It enables me to be the best wife, mother, friend, daughter, sister, coach and individual that I can possibly be.  It allows me to contribute to the world from the highest level, to make the biggest difference, to play “all out.”

So, my readers, I will leave you with this food for thought.  What are you doing on a daily basis that is filling your own cup and setting you up to be the best version of yourself?  Have you convinced yourself that you aren’t able to make yourself a priority in this season of your life?  Or that you don’t really need it?  I am not sure what filling your cup means to each of you, it looks different for each person.  I know as a momma, it can be challenging, but even 5 minutes can help to feed your soul and make all the difference.  Go fill your cups my friends!  The world needs more of this.