THE SECRET TO WEIGHT LOSS SUCCESS

How many times have you told yourself or another person, “I need to think about it” or “let’s see how I feel?” If you are anything like me, it’s been a lot if you’ve been alive for at least 20 years. These are the words that doom every potential goal we have ever set out to achieve. These phrases seem so innocent, as though we are honoring ourselves and the world by going inside and consulting with our inner selves before going ahead and doing something. But, let me tell you right now, they are our one way ticket to staying comfortable, safe, and sabotaging anything we really want to achieve.

I’m going to do an exercise with you to prove my point. Go ahead and think about the elements in life that you’ve made work and at which you’ve been successful. If you can’t think of any I will give you a few examples: raising kids, your marriage, or your career. If you’ve been successful at any of these, and we will define success as: your kids still being alive and well, a marriage as having remained faithful and come home when you say you’ll be home without engaging in an affair. And for your career: having kept a job for a period of time that you had desired and continued to keep the jobs that you have intended to keep.

I want you to think about whichever example you’ve chosen and ask yourself how many times you have told your kids “I need to think about it” or “I’ll see how I feel” when it comes to feeding them or picking them up from school. How many times have you asked these questions to yourself regarding marriage? How about your work life?

I have no doubt that your mind has told you an innumerable amount of times that it didn’t feel like prepping a meal for your kids or going to pick them up. We may have felt a desire not to be faithful in our marriages and perhaps not to come home when we said we would. And without a shadow of a doubt we could all agree on the fact that there have been many times when we didn’t feel like showing up to work.

However, ultimately when the “I don’t feel like it” thoughts appeared or the feelings of dread came up we dismissed them. We may have been in a mood for a spell, but we didn’t entertain them to the point of letting them make our decision. We have decided in advance that no matter what we will nurture or show up for our children, our marriages, and our jobs, even when we don’t “feel like it.”

Yet, when we have a weight loss goal and chose the protocol we are going to implement to lose the weight most of us show up differently. We may at first take the approach that I’m doing this no matter what and odds are likely that we see some results initially. But then we start consulting how we think or feel when it comes to following the food plan. And, guess what happens from there? We start obeying our thoughts and our feelings and we sabotage ourselves.

My advice? Treat this endeavor like you do your kids, your marriage, and your job. Plan what you will eat in advance each day. Follow it to the tee. WHEN the thoughts of not feeling like following it come up (and they will), notice them and remind yourself of your commitment as you do your other endeavors at which you’ve been successful.

The worst idea if you want to succeed at anything in life is to consult with your thoughts and feelings. Let me save you the time and energy and tell you what your mind will tell you about following whatever food protocol you’ve chosen. It’s ALWAYS going to tell you that it would rather your favorite foods than the protocol you’ve chosen and you can start again on Monday (or some variation of that). It’s NEVER going to feel like following it if you’ve at all struggled with your weight or have had a love affair with food.

If you master this, you will undoubtedly reach your weight goal and have no problem with maintenance. I will address the question everyone is anxious to know, “what should I eat to lose weight?” in a future blog.

I used to struggle with my weight and never thought I’d be free of the struggle. I promised myself if I figured this out I would share it with the world. Your “right size body” and free from weight/food struggle self is awaiting you. Please allow me the honor of meeting with you in a complimentary discovery session by clicking this link: https://calendly.com/bestversion76/60min.

What is Your Reason For Not Losing the Weight?

Over the past 22 years I have heard just about every reason and used many of them myself for not seeing the weight loss results I felt I should have.  We like to blame the weight loss programs that we try, our nutritionists, trainer, or weight loss coach.  We like to assign our weight loss sabotage to our kids for stressing us out or to our husbands for eating our designated meals.  

We tell ourselves that it’s not the right time and it hasn’t worked so far so, why bother?

All of these reasons and the million that I didn’t mention only do one thing.  They prevent us from achieving our weight loss goals.  

There are two reasons we don’t succeed in losing weight and keep it off. 

The first reason is because we keep quitting on our weight loss efforts when something doesn’t work the way we think it “should have.”  Instead of focusing on figuring out what will work, we blame it on some, or all, of things I stated above.  Until we commit to figuring out what works best to achieve our weight loss in a sustainable, enjoyable way, we will fail at achieving in our weight loss. This may mean trying a bunch of different strategies, but most of us give up after trying one or two strategies, only to go back to comforting ourselves with all of the foods we told ourselves we’re “off limits” in the previous weight loss attempt.

The second reason we don’t succeed is because we keep blaming ourselves in a way that ends in self sabotage instead of taking full responsibility in a powerful, proactive manner.  I’m going to get really candid with you!  There is a multi-billion dollar food industry that wants us all to be addicted to consuming their products.  If we don’t acknowledge the environment we are living in and how it may affect us we won’t be able to set ourselves up for success. 

I’ve seen so many of my clients and myself get frustrated because we struggle to free ourselves from being “hooked” on certain foods/drinks.  It’s completely normal to live in our society and feel “hooked” on food and drink when these foods and drinks are created to cause addiction.

Ultimately, we each need to play an active role in figuring out what works to lose the weight and keep it off as there is no single weight loss journey that applies to everyone.  That, and realize that we do live in a world that encourages us to eat all of the things to feel better while being trim and fit. We live in a world that is more concerned with profiting off our yoyo dieting more than it would if it were to encourage us to lose the weight once and for all. 

YOU can absolutely achieve your weight loss and wellness goals.  You have not failed one bit.  We live in a broken system that gains more from our feeling like we have failed than they would if we had succeeded. 

Weight loss isn’t complicated when you adopt the things I have discussed in this blog. Let me help you on your weight loss journey to figure out a sustainable and enjoyable plan that you can stick to and feel good about. I can’t wait to meet with you in a complimentary discovery session: https://calendly.com/bestversion76/60min.

Our Biggest Addiction

I have been pretty enthralled with Michael Singer’s teachings for quite some time now. After listening to one of his talks the other day, Ceasing to Build the Falseness of Psyche at https://tou.org/talks/, I was flooded with a slew of questions and experienced a massive shift in perspective.

The main take away from this shift in perspective was that the majority of us have the same addiction. And we allow it to sabotage our lives on a daily basis. But, most of us don’t realize it’s a huge problem. We don’t realize that because of this addiction we don’t truly experience our lives.

What’s the addiction you ask? It’s our mind. We don’t listen to the person talking across from us most of the time. We are more interested in what our minds reaction to what they are saying might be. We don’t experience a sunrise or a sunset letting it completely blow us away, we listen to our mind comparing it to another time when it may have been better.

We are constantly missing our lives because we are engaging with our minds reaction about whether it may be better or worse than the previous times we had a similar experience. This leaves no room to truly experience the present moment.

Many would argue that this is what our minds are meant to do and I won’t deny that. It’s our brains way of scanning for danger and keeping us safe. We would never want to ignore a true threat. However, we get to consciously decide whether or not to engage with the incessant chatter that comes along with each moment.

The questions that came to me after listening to his talk were: What if we regarded our thoughts and feelings just as boring as watching paint dry? What if experiencing the here and now was 100x more captivating and interesting than what our minds had to say?

The first step to breaking up with any addiction is awareness. If you are reading this, I’d put money on you having an addiction to your mind. In the next week, notice how much you are paying attention to your mind’s reaction during your day versus actually experiencing the day without engaging with the nonstop chatter.

As you start being more aware of this, I want to remind you that nothing has gone wrong. Your brain is wired to do these things. That being said, once you see this occurring, you get to decide when you will pay attention and when you will disregard what story your mind is trying to lure you into. On the other side of this process is absolute freedom. Join me in the next blog when I will post a follow up and the next step in this process. You won’t want to miss it.

Want Freedom? Try This!

If you’ve read any of my posts or seen any of my videos before you will have heard me relate to the primitive brain as the part of us that is wired for survival. This is a crucial element to our existence, but creates a huge problem in today’s modern world. It is the voice inside your head that tells you that everything is a problem that needs to be solved. It strives to keep us safe, taking minimal or no risks in or day-to-day lives.

It also makes every circumstance in our lives out to be a threat. Which, if we are in an actual life or death experience is extremely useful. But most of us don’t experience these types of threats day-to-day.

The problem is that because our primitive brain is on alert 24/7 making most everything mean that we have a problem, we are distracted by trying to solve things that don’t need to be solved. The most recent relatable situation was when I developed hives from an allergic reaction after surgery. For a decent chunk of time, I allowed my primitive brain to run the show.

Can you guess what this created? This created more stress, more cortisol, and guess what else it created? MORE HIVES. Instead of knowing that I was not going to die from the hives, my brain set out on a mission to figure out why it happened and to identify the thousand options that might eliminate this “problem.” Honestly, this is what most of us do each day unless we are intentional about managing our minds.

What is the remedy for this you ask? Consciously decide not to engage with your primitive brain or any thought that is not intentional. It helps to identify the facts of the situation and to keep them very neutral in description. For example, in the situation I described above I would have stated that I had small little markings on the trunk of my body. As opposed to itchy raised welts all over my midsection, which is not neutral at all. 

So, anytime that you notice your mind wanting to go into the problem-solving mode, just identify the facts. Facts never cause feelings. It is our narrative about the facts that create every single feeling. After identifying the facts just watch and drop the thoughts without engaging. It helps to use a replacement focus such as a mantra or breathing. 

The reality is that we will never be able to stop our minds from coming up with the 60,000 thoughts every day. However, we can pre-decide how we will handle them. The most important question to ask yourself here is: how would your life benefit from not engaging with all of the thoughts? 

Asked another way: what is the price of engaging in these thoughts that your mind comes up with, mostly geared at keeping you alive, non-stop each day? The answer to these questions will be your motivation to do this practice.

I can tell you from experience that by doing this practice you will be more present, focused, and able to achieve almost anything you desire. But only work on this if you want to free yourself of stress, frustration, anger, and overwhelm. Only do this work if you want to run your mind instead of your mind running you. 

Must Read if You Are a Mom


I have to be real with you all.  I have been feeling stressed recently.  And for a while I let it affect how I was showing up for my life: my kids, my husband, my coaching, and everything else.

And I know if I continue down this path, the compound effect it’ll have is severe.  The effect will be a life that I’m not present for because I’m always looking to escape through numbing out with: a screen, food, validation from others, or the other million ways that we can do this. 

Continuing down this path would ultimately affect my health on every level.  My immune system would go down and I will be miserable.  The compound effect of this stress moves me far away from everything I want in my life.

That is if I let it continue.  However, I have a gift that allows me to shift my perspective and create exactly what I want if I chose. That is the gift of coaching.  I have a coach that I speak with each week that allows me to see what I’m creating and holds a space that no friend or family member (no offense) could ever provide to me. 

At this point, you may be wondering why I’m writing this blog.  I am writing this because it occurred to me how many other momma’s are feeling the same way.  It touched me to my core when I thought of how many momma’s are feeling the same and how their lives and families are being negatively affected. 

I believe that mommas are the glue and the feeling behind most families.  It is my mission to serve all of the momma’s out there because I know this group will make a difference for future generations. 

I specialize in weight loss, but I also offer general life coaching which addresses everything. I want to help you, momma.  Each of you is amazing, you just need to be reminded and have a sacred space that honors that greatness within you.

Sign up here: https://calendly.com/bestversion76/60min
for a complimentary discovery session so that we can shift your trajectory and the trajectory of your babies.  

Momma, What is your North Star?

 

Who would you show up as in your role as a mom if you weren’t looking to the cultures standards regarding how you should be and weren’t basing your parenting on what you didn’t get growing up? I know this may be a tough question because none of us live in a vacuum. Although challenging to think about, I think it is crucial to come up with our own answer. 

 

Because the ultimate answer to this question is our North Star.  

So often I’ll find myself in a state of disappointment because I’m not living up to what our culture deems to be the ideal mom. The interesting thing is that I  intentionally refocus on how I want to show up on a regular basis. However, if I’m not vigilant the cultures ideals or compensating for what I lacked as a child will sneak back into the way I show up. 

 

This only results in feeling like I can’t win. And when I feel this way, I stop showing up for myself and everyone else. I find myself distracted on my phone or with a snack I don’t need to avoid feeling the disappointment which compounds it all. 

 

So what is the solution? There are 2 steps. The first step is answering the question I asked at the beginning of this blog . The only guideposts that I use when answering this are the values from my faith. Other than this I will ask myself: when I am 95 and looking back what will I want to see regarding how I showed up as a mom throughout my life? And the number one answer always boils down to love and presence. 

 

Will my schedule and the way I cleaned the house be significant? My guess is no. Will Pinterest-like birthday parties be what I will remember? No.  It will all boil down to the thread of love I showed to myself, my children, and the world. 

 

The second step is to look at your answer every day and burn it into your memory. Be on alert for feelings of defeat and guilt, because chances are that is a sign you’ve lost sight of your own North Star. 

It’s also helpful to periodically check in and make sure that your answer still feels right for you.  

 

Momma’s, when we follow our North Star we shine brightly as we are meant to do. We come from a place of love and lightness as opposed to resentment and guilt. We empower our children and the world to chase their own North Star instead of anyone else’s.

 

And you know what this makes for? A brighter future and mental wellness for all. And that is priceless. 

Stop Believing the BS


Having a weight loss goal doesn’t mean you are vain or selfish.  Or, that you have been brainwashed by our culture to believe that thin is better and are a part of the weight discrimination club.   It also doesn’t mean not accepting yourself until you look a certain way or can fit into a certain size. 

I think that having a weight loss goal has gotten a bad wrap in our culture almost as much as thin and perfect have been something that has been pushed and promoted.  

What if your weight loss goal wasn’t a goal about how you look or your size, but it was about supporting yourself to live the best life possible because you are your healthiest version?   

What if it wasn’t about rejecting yourself because you aren’t what society tells you that you should be, but it was about creating a fun process in which you love yourself all the way down to your desired weight/right size body?  

What if it wasn’t about adopting a diet that would shrink you into a smaller version of yourself so that you could like yourself more?  But instead, it was about creating a food plan that works for you to support you to have the most energy and vitality possible?   A food plan created by you and for you that you could do for the rest of your life that sets you up to thrive?  A food plan that includes the foods that you love and others deem are “bad”?  

Our culture likes to tell us that we should be thin, perfect, and look like we are in our early twenties for the rest of our lives.  While at the same time suggests that we should be able to eat any food whenever we want, without any structure.  

If you fall into these lies, you will be on a yoyo diet for the rest of your life and not create anything that you truly desire.  You will continue to loathe yourself for not being able to live out the lies that our culture deems to be most important.  You may be in comparison mode much of the time and feel defeated after you’ve looked at social media.  You may think that you will only feel good once you’ve reached your goal weight and look a certain way.   

Being on a weight-loss journey doesn’t have to mean starving yourself and rejecting yourself until you reach that size.  

I’m here to tell you that you can lose weight and learn to manage it for good.  I’m here to tell you that you can love yourself and create a fun weight loss journey that you are excited about and capable of adopting for the rest of your life.  

 I’m also here to tell you that we are here to live out our best lives, not as ageless ornaments, but as instruments giving the world our divine inspired gifts.  If we aren’t healthy, we won’t be able to serve to our fullest potential.

Feeling good is created by a sentence in your brain and when you get to the root of an effective weight loss journey this is what you will work on the most.  The sentences in your brain are what create your feelings and ultimately create how much you weigh.

Want to embark upon the most amazing weight loss journey of your life?  Want to learn how to enjoy managing your weight in a way that is sustainable for life?  And at the same time gain skills that will give you the confidence to achieve any goal you ever desire? I’d be honored to show you how.  Sign up for a complimentary discovery session here: https://calendly.com/bestversion76/60min.

The Game-Changing Tool

 

It was me. I did it. It is completely my responsibility.

 

I spent so much of my life avoiding these words because of what I made them mean. I used them to beat myself up which resulted in me feeling ashamed. Little did I know that they were the ticket to my success,  freedom, evolvement, an thriving if I used them the right way.

 

When we misuse the opportunity of personal responsibility by beating ourselves up, we strip the possibility that lies in using it as a way of upgrading our life so that we can thrive.

 

For so many years, I avoided taking a look at what happened and receiving feedback because I used the information as a way to punish myself. But in doing this I was robbing myself.

 

So how you ask, do we use personal responsibility as a tool to thrive?

 

Step 1) draw a line in the sand and commit to never beat yourself up again for anything you’ve done or haven’t done.

Step 2) get really good at being consistent at step 1.

Step 3) master step 1.

Step 4) ask yourself from a curious and compassionate space, how am I completely responsible for what happened? What did I do well? What didn’t go well? What could I do differently next time?

 

You will know that you need more work on the boundary to not beat yourself up if shame and guilt keep coming up. Another indicator is if you find your self avoiding the past event and looking at how it turned.

 

On the other hand, you will know that you are using this tool in the most powerful way possible if you are curious, possibly excited, and kind to yourself.

 

This is a GAME CHANGER.

 

Want to get really good at this tool? I can help! Sign up for a free discovery session at: https://calendly.com/bestversion76/60min.

Time for a Life Audit

If you’ve followed me for even a brief amount of time you’ve likely heard one of my favorite quotes from Jim Rohn that states, “You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with.”

 

This has been one of the most impactful quotes of my life. It’s one of the reasons why I think it’s crucial to take regular inventory of who I’m spending the majority of my time with and evaluating what I am listening to when I am alone.

 

Am I consuming the news which is geared to keep me in a state of fear at all times all in the name of good ratings? Or am I listening to powerful podcasts and reading powerful books?

 

One of the most important places to audit is the thoughts in your brain. If you are finding that you are not creating your desired life, you are holding onto a lie (or many.)

 

Ask yourself: am I listening to the part of my brain that is wired for survival and trying to convince me that I need to do everything I can to keep myself safe even if it means holing up in my house watching Netflix while eating ice cream for days straight? Or am I directing my brain and talking to myself more than I am listening and intentionally believing what I want to believe for my future and the world?

 

Look at your conversations with others to reveal what you currently believe. The conversations you participate in uncover the beliefs that have been driving you.

 

It becomes very clear as to what we have been focusing on by taking a look at our results. So after taking inventory ask yourself: what can I eliminate and what can I introduce to support the life I want to create?

 

Nothing is more valuable than this audit exercise to design a life that you love, one in which you are achieving your goals, and thoroughly enjoying your time here on earth.

 

I am about to do another audit and I invite you to do the same. Want more support? Sign up for a complimentary discovery session at: https://calendly.com/bestversion76/60min.

Living like your Body is an Ornament vs. Instrument

 

 

I was listening to the Compared to Who podcast the other day and Heather Creekmore posed a question that made my mind explode.  The question was: are you living from the perspective that your body is an ornament or an instrument? For so many years, before coaching, I had focused on living my life as an ornament. And for years, focusing on my physique and appearance was my default setting.  It was my escape to check out in times of discomfort. 

 

If you looked at my life 5 or so years ago, anytime the going got tough you could find me turning inward to find out how I could look better.  This was always proceeded by turning outward to find the perfect diet or workout plan. This habit did, in fact, dull my feelings temporarily.  However, as we all know, we can always find something to improve appearance-wise which makes this a perpetual, self-defeating process.

 

When I heard this ornament vs. instrument question a month or so ago, it basically summed up how I’ve been feeling in recent years. I had known that I no longer wanted to focus on being an ornament. This question clarified who I had chosen to be for myself and the world. It was a question that defined a period of time in my life. The era of being an ornament had ended and the era of being an instrument began 5 years ago. I am so grateful, thank you, Heather Creekmore, for this clarification. 

 

My purpose here is to help moms lose internal and external weight so that they can be the very best instruments in their life. The journey I provide my clients, which fulfills this goal, is the most exhilarating, life-changing experience. It is the journey I went on that began the quest to be the best instrument in my life. And I, along with several of my clients, can attest that nothing is more exciting.

 

There is a version of yourself that is waiting to be discovered.  Let’s go find her together. Book a complimentary discovery session by clicking this link: https://calendly.com/bestversion76/60min.