The other day, a client shared a quote that completely shifted my perspective. It was, “When a mother does everything for her child, she builds her self-esteem at the expense of her child’s.” That hit me hard, and as I reflected on it, I realized how much truth lies in that simple statement. Each coaching client has opened my eyes to new insights, and I am beyond grateful for the privilege of walking beside them on their journey—helping them shed the habits that hold them back and step into the lives they were meant to lead. This particular client made me reconsider how I approach household duties and responsibilities with my own kids.
In a society that often measures success by the “perfect childhood”—a dream world curated on Pinterest and Hallmark movies—we’re inadvertently missing the mark when it comes to raising responsible, resilient individuals who will contribute meaningfully to the world.
Now, I’m not saying there are no exceptions—there certainly are—but it’s becoming clear that in our pursuit of providing an idyllic life for our kids, we may be robbing them of their confidence, independence, and sense of responsibility.
As moms, we’re stretched so thin trying to do it all—overwhelmed by the pressure to create the perfect life for our kids—that it’s no wonder we reach for a drink, overeat, or go on shopping sprees at the end of the day. But here’s the truth: when we take on everything ourselves, we’re not only hurting our own well-being, but we’re also unintentionally denying our children the chance to learn life’s essential lessons.
I’ve heard many stories from my client, as well as from my own father, who both grew up in large families. And the memories they cherish most? The chores they were responsible for. Those daily duties weren’t just tasks—they were moments of connection, belonging, and self-worth. Kids don’t just learn how to clean or organize—they learn they are part of something bigger, that their contributions matter, and that they have a vital role to play.
So, for the sake of your own sanity and the future of your children, give them responsibilities. Let go of the unrealistic pressure to make every moment perfect, and resist the cultural narrative that says it’s your job to make your child happy all the time. This shift may be one of the most important gifts you can give them. A life of meaning, purpose, and self-esteem doesn’t come from doing everything for them—it comes from allowing them to do it for themselves.
Jenniferoney.com 