You read the new book. You tried the new food plan. You listened to multiple audio books. You changed your routine. Yet, you are still feeling like things aren’t working as you desire.
Chances are you are blaming yourself for these things not working. You keep seeing how you are falling short as a mom, especially in comparison with the new approach you just tried. Or you are beating yourself up for not sticking to that food plan so that you can feel better by summer.
I think it’s healthy to ask how we could do better or differently before completely abandoning our new strategy. To take notice of how it could go better on this next attempt will help to test the new strategy before jumping ship.
That being said, I think there is a way of viewing these desired habits and tools that will change everything for you. Most of us moms are making ourselves wrong when the new habit doesn’t work, but what if it’s not pointing to us failing rather it’s pointing to the new strategy failing us?
After a hardy try at these new approaches and tweaking them to suit our lives, maybe it is time to look for a new habit or tool. Or maybe it’s just time to place the blame on the tool and not ourselves. If we completely eliminate viewing ourselves as the failure we give ourselves permission to tweak the new strategy or try a new one altogether.
What if we decided to never again make anything mean that we’ve failed? What if we decide that it is impossible that we are a failure? This places the focus on the tools that we try out and how they can work to our advantage instead of using them to beat ourselves up. Would a carpenter get angry because the hammer isn’t the appropriate tool for the task and start calling himself a failure? Of course not. He would choose a different tool. Instead of looking at something as a failure, let’s shift our focus to see it as a learning opportunity!
A great quote from the movie Top Gun illuminates this idea. “A good pilot is compelled to evaluate what’s happened, so he can apply what he’s learned.” Viper [TOP GUN]. Evaluate what’s working in your life, and what is not, then continue seeking what best works for you.
Jenniferoney.com 